The other night, I had to get up to relieve myself. I did not want to disturb Marta, so I left the lights out. I’ve been doing this for over five decades — it’s pretty routine.

So imagine my surprise to feel something soft and furry between my legs. Something other than what I usually expected there, at any rate. A moment later, the sound of water falling into the bowl — stopped. Silence where there should not have been silence.

I reached down in alarm and discovered a wet cat between my legs. Talk about deadly curiosity….

When I finished, he got the quickest cat-bath in all of history, in the sink, in the dark.

He is now informally known as “Piss-Head.”